


Falling Together

by DeanRiordain



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Jensen Ackles/Misha Collins, M/M, Making Up, POV Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 03:02:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10266305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanRiordain/pseuds/DeanRiordain
Summary: It's easy to fall apart with the weight of expectations, and new things happening in your life. It can happen to the best of people, at the strangest of times.What makes it beautiful, is when they inevitably fall back together.-or-"The almost-but-not-quite Cockles breakup with a happy ending"





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MashiarasDream](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MashiarasDream/gifts), [Alyeen1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyeen1/gifts).



> Written for MashiarasDream and Alyeen1 because we were having a conversation about this the other day, and I feel like they need happy Cockles.
> 
> A lot of people have noticed the lack of Cockles in 2017, and there have been many speculations- but, Cockles is sunshine, and shall only be treated as such.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are appreciated more than you know.
> 
> Love & Cockles,  
> 

* * *

* * *

_My tea’s gone cold, I’m wondering why I got out of bed at all…_

_The morning rain clouds up my window, and I can’t see at all…_

_And even if I could, it would all be grey,_

_But your picture on the wall,_

_It reminds me that it’s not so bad...it’s not so bad._

 

It was a cold, abysmally rainy day, and Jensen was on edge, more than usual, impatient and irritated, without much rhyme or reason. It just seemed to be one of those days. He’d been having a lot of those, lately.

He hadn’t wanted to roll out of bed in the morning, but had done so anyway, not without taking notice of the considerably vacant other half of the bed, still made.

He ran his fingertips gingerly over the cotton of the pillowcase. It smelled like fresh linen, and a little laundry soap now; but, it didn’t take much for Jensen to imagine its prior smell- delicious hints of cinnamon that blended with the bold, black morning coffee that was usually already brewing upon his awakening. Misha had been good at that.

Now, he was the one dragging his feet across the trailer to turn on the little coffeepot. While it began to heat, he peered through the blinds to realize there was no sign of sunlight. Relatable.

He trekked back into the bedroom of his trailer, grabbing his phone and checking first for any messages. Finding none, he opened twitter, finding it vacant as well. Danneel and the kids were with her parents for the weekend, and a slight lack of texting was to be expected. Still, he felt a little disappointed that there weren’t any new pictures of his three babies discovering new things or making silly faces. He missed home. He missed his kids, and his wife...and he missed Misha, too...wondered what he was doing right now.

It didn’t seem his place to wonder anymore.

He slumped back into one of the chairs, waiting for the coffee to start dripping, thumbing through his phone until he came across some older pictures. All the way at the bottom were some of him and his family, of him and his other family, of Danneel and himself on the set of _Ten Inch Hero_ , and then...Misha, with that sunshine-and-honey smile. Jensen felt his heart lurch in his chest as though he’d just slammed on the breaks of a car going a hundred down the freeway, it was enough to make him feel sick.

As he thumbed through more pictures, he watched himself falling in love with both Danneel, and Misha- that same expression of adoration present between each couple. He thumbed over the stubble of Misha’s face, the phone sliding to the next picture.

That was the night they’d first kissed. He remembered, because it was taken right afterwards, a glow on Jensen’s cheeks that had taken hours, maybe days to fade- and Misha’s sex hair a little more rough than usual.

_“Is it possible to be in love with two people at once?” Jensen had asked Misha, eyes blown wide as Misha’s arms trapped him in the corner of the trailer._

Jensen looked up into the corner, now just a regular corner- no special paint, no memento, no ‘Misha was here’ no, ‘hey man, this is where you were actually happy’. Just a regular corner, in an empty trailer, with an empty man.

_“I don’t think you’d be asking me that question unless you already knew the answer.”_

_The kiss. The kiss had been softer than expected, met with more need than anticipated. Jensen had told himself before then that he’d let himself be cornered...just so he’d be able to say no. That he knew what he wanted...that Misha fucking Collins was not it. That the puttering in his heart, the butterflies in his stomach were just...nothing._

_One kiss, and that was out the window. One kiss, and everything changed- whether he’d wanted it to or not._

Everything.

He smiled more, he loved harder. He opened himself up to change, and beautiful new things that had been confined and locked away within him. He was a better husband to Danneel because of Misha, and a better father to his daughter. It was sometimes downright terrifying how much influence that man had over him- like he was a real life goddamned angel, and that he just had that power to make him a better man, even when they were apart.

But when they were together, there were fireworks, static sparks, the kind of feeling that people write about just to try and feel. Worlds collapsed when he was beneath Misha, and at the same time, heavens were breathed into existence.

Knowing that he was loved by Danneel, and baby JJ, as well as Misha made Jensen feel full, settled, and even so much as ‘safe’. Their wives adored each other, and supported the relationship between the two men, letting it be nurtured...and, it had always been alright...the bumps on the road had always made them stronger, made them lean into each other more. There was nothing they couldn’t do.

So...how did it end here? Which road had it been that led them to burning out on a dead end? When had the text messages stopped coming every hour and changed to every other day? When had they stopped making plans to see each other? When had they stopped saying ‘I love you’?

Jensen wasn’t sure. They hadn’t really talked about it. Hadn’t really talked about much of anything...in, too long. Jensen was sure there was an underlying hurt on both sides, neglect in a fire that had burned so brightly to now be reduced to cinders. They both knew it. It was apparent in the way they acted at work, and the ever more rare text messages between them.

Jensen scrolled to the top of his photo list, smiling just a little. His family...his beloved Danneel, JJ, Zepp and Arrow all laid out with him. A family with a little one and two even smaller ones was a lot for any parent to balance. Jensen was scarcely able to go home as it was to be daddy. It wasn't Misha's fault that Jensen was having a hard time juggling. It couldn't be blamed on him. And besides...

Misha'd been through a lot, too. A lot that Jensen should have been there for...the election, for one. Misha had sunk into a depressive state that had lasted months. Honestly, maybe it was still there. Jensen was in the dark. Instead, he used the distance to try to make up for the gaps in other parts of his life. Maybe that was where it had started...trying to balance his life at home with so many new additions to his little world.

But, as much as they were his home, they weren’t his only home.

That was how Jensen ended up in Bellingham nearly four hours later in the pouring rain on Misha’s doorstep.

 

* * *

 

Jensen was greeted immediately with the sounds of West and Maison shrieking throughout the house, likely terrorizing Misha and Vicki in one way or another.

His heart thrummed in his chest as he heard a clear, familiar voice over the peals of laughter, “Okay, guys, I’m gonna...I’m gonna get the door…”

There were sounds of a struggle, before Misha slipped through the door, freezing in place. His crystal blue eyes widened as he blew as he blew out a breath, which turned to vapor in the cold rain, “J...what are you doing here…?” Misha asked, eyes wide, as he stood frozen in the doorway, “Are you okay…” Misha asked groggily, squinting a little, “Is everything...is everything okay, Jensen?”

“I’m sorry,” Jensen blurted out, raising his voice a little to be heard over the rain, and wind which were whipping through the trees, “I should have been there for you when you needed me.”

There was dead silence that seemed to last forever between them as they looked at each other, rain blowing onto them sideways now, soaking them both in turn, Misha’s gray t-shirt clinging to the muscles that Jensen knew were beneath it.

“Come inside, Jensen.”

He never did know how to say ‘no’ to that man.

 

* * *

 

 

Toweling off had done little, if anything, to spare either of them from the cold Washington rain, and Misha had started a bath for what seemed to be the two of them.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen said, staring down at his feet, as Misha stood back up from the tub, letting it fill with steaming bathwater.

“I know,” Misha said simply.

“I got so caught up with everything going on...the twins, I didn’t even stop to…”

“Jensen, I know…” Misha said gently, closing the distance between the two of them, building a bridge and making the connection look so damn easy that it was ridiculous to think it had ever been broken...and God, if Jensen’s knees didn’t go weak.

When they pulled away for breath, Jensen shaking more from missed touches and caresses than he was from the cold, he tried again, “I didn’t want this to happen to us.”

Misha looked relieved, even as he repeated his words, “I know”. They came with uncertainty, doubt that seemed to be melting away, “I didn’t either.” And that was the end of that.

Misha’s lips were pressed against his again, and his whole body leaned into it. Misha took the cue and raked his fingers into the back of Jensen’s head, tugging him into their kisses, changing the subject completely by the next time they pulled away for air.

“Am I warming you up yet, Jens?” Misha teased, looping his fingers through the belt loops of Jensen’s jeans, dragging his hips to him, fucking grinding into him.

“Misha,” Jensen whined, trying to maintain a little of his dignity and not just succumb to his need, “Don’t you think we should talk about...fuck…”

Misha’s tongue was hot on his neck, and he was just cold enough that it sent waves of heat through his whole body, and he found himself clinging to Misha to stop himself from collapsing.

Misha laughed against his ear, “We can talk about it, if you want, but I pride myself on being a man of action.”

Misha slipped out of his pants, tugging Jensen’s off as well. Jensen never thought he could be so comforted by the sight of bright orange underwear. He found himself smiling as he seized the initiative to get rid of those as well, and then his hands were on his lover again, re-learning every detail, committing each to memory, and at the same time, promising to never forget.

It was as good an apology as any.

 

* * *

 

 

Jensen didn’t leave Washington empty-handed. For one, he had a terrifying bag of cookies that West had made earlier that morning in tow, that he couldn’t bring himself to throw away, even when Misha teased that they might be radioactive and bring the plane down.

He also had a promise. That they’d do better. That they’d try harder.

 

It started with a text that came in just as the plane touched down in Vancouver.

 

> Mishka: You know I love you.

 

Jensen smiled, rolling his eyes. It was so juvenile, so cliche...those little heart-eyes that the fans gave them. And still, he didn’t stop smiling for a second. He almost put the phone away absent-mindedly blissful with the contents of the text, before he realized that he needed to try harder, too.

  

> Me: I know. You too.

 

He backspaced the words after rereading them, correcting them before sending them out.

  

> Me: I know. I love you, too.

 

The phone beeped again almost instantly.

  

> Mishka: See you soon, J. But not soon enough.

 

It never was.

The phone went off again, and Jensen pulled up a new text of three sleepy kiddos in the back seat, captioned, ‘miss you, daddy xoxo’.

And just like that...the world was complete, as though it had never really ended in the first place.

 

 

_Push the door, I’m home at last,_

_And I’m soaking through and through,_

_And then you handed me a towel,_

_And all I see is you._

_And even if my house falls down now,_

_I wouldn’t have a clue...because you’re near me._

_And I want to thank you…_

_For giving me the best day of my life._

_Oh, just to be with you…_

_Is having the best day of my life._

**Author's Note:**

> Forgive any errors, it is past my bedtime.  
> So much love.  
>  
> 
> PS: The lyrics come from "Thank You" by Dido. It was playing in my head the whole time I was writing this.


End file.
